Driving through town
I met a man with a cross
a big wooden one
waiting for the bus

He said he was Jesus
on his way to a hotel
gave me an address
didn’t ring a bell

I offered to help him
bring the cross to that place
so we put it in the trunk
and secured it, in case…

The navigator found
the address Jesus gave
a twenty minute drive
twenty five, I drive safe

Three minutes on our way
we bumped onto a holy cow
Jesus yelled “How the heck?”
and lifted an eyebrow

I backed the car and headed east
the best way to go ‘round the beast
stretched the trip a minute (at) least
then we’re stopped by (a) feast

Jesus asked a man with a beard
what brought them to the decision
to block the road for a major fest
it was a circumcision

Jesus rolled his eyes
and got back in the car
so again we had to find
another route, twice, so far

He told he had a dinner
with twelve of his mates
he prepared a speech, hates
getting late on dates

A second later we passed a monk
meditating in pink
Jesus said: “I’m better dressed,
at least I like to think”

I asked Jesus
what the meeting was about
in the meanwhile the navigator
showed a roundabout

In the middle sat a sikh
setting his turban straight
Jesus gave the clock a look
made it clear not to get late

He got back to my question
and said it was a goodbye
he was looked for by the government
had a hunch he was going to die

A classic nokia beep sounded
Jesus got a text
it was his father, said
he was loved and blessed

Suddenly we heard a thud
the cross flew over the hood
ended straight up in the mud
in this very kind neighbourhood

The lightning struck
the cross caught fire
we saw dreadlocks flee
and a massive gospel choir

The fire extinguisher worked very well
we tied the cross on top of the car
we reached the hotel and Jesus got out
shaking his hair like a superstar

We ran with the pitchblack cross
to the lobby of the hotel
we were two minutes late
or a bit more, I couldn’t tell

Jesus thanked me and went to his friends
to have a good talk and a meal
a few days later I read in the paper
about the whole ordeal

So he was right about getting killed
(I wonder) would he still be alive
if I told him I was Lucifer
during that bumpy drive

Jesus was late on his final date


Ik ben een teruggetrokken, enigszins zwaar op de hand zijnde oude Brabander, met een ongeorganiseerde stroom gedachten.

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